Bottle Fairy

Saturday, March 03, 2007

- 6:28 PM

This blog has been stagnant since ... I think no one particularly likes posting here because if is probably viewed by both seniors and juniors who come by. However, I think now is the time for someone to say something, or we will be doomed.

Yes, it's probably too strong a word to use, but let's face it! If we don't do anything now, we are doomed. In fact, we can't just be doing anything, we have to do A LOT OF SPECIFIC THINGS.

I don't know if it is right for me to be saying all this. I don't feel right to be the one saying it, but since no one had said it, and I don't know if anyone is going to say anything, and there's no time for us to wait any longer, I will just say what I feel as a sec4 regardless of what seniors/juniors/batchmates/people may think who I am.

Yes... as a sec4.

Now that it has dawned upon me and probably some of us that the time we are left with in NY is only months. The time left in CO is definitely lesser. I admit I had not been the best member, with the best attitude since sec2. As I think back now, I feel as if part of me was angsty, but undeniably, there were some basis and fact that change me to become what I was. I was determined that I hated CO and that I will not join CO again (I still hold true to the second point though). Somehow, when you become the oldest, I find that I was childish and weak.

I do regret not being the role model for the juniors. I do regret that if I had stay strong, we would still have the competitiveness between us (It was to me not the most positive thing though). We would not have lost faith and completely lost passion.

It's probably why juniors don't view us as seniors unlike how we did.

Hey guys, I think some of us have always had this inferiority complex within us. I don't have to deny it myself that even up till this point, I do still feel inferior many a times. It probably explains why I do not feel right saying all this. Right now, many thoughts are flying through my head, wondering what people reading this will be thinking...

Maybe the juniors not viewing us as seniors is something we had asked for. I personally had not been very much bothered to be the senior guiding juniors. I was... heck-care. I only enjoyed the the company of you people, especially my erhu mates (Do not view me as being biased cos ultimately, it is undeniable we play the same thing and sit together). We had done this for a long enough time. It's time for us to take the intiative and do something, regardless of how seniors/ juniors view us.

When we first came in, quite a few of us started with NO musical background and MOST of us have not touched an erhu before. The fact that we had made it here today is something we should be proud of right? The experience may not have been that pleasant, but it's now time for us to make sure we end it pleasantly. Our experiences may have been different, but that isn't an excuse for us to not make it end well.

We have no one to tell us what to do now, and I think we do not want to be told so. Let's show ourselves worthy and show the world out there that the sec4'07 xyz batch isn't just a mere group of nothing.

We may not be as outstanding as compared to our seniors, but what we can at least aim for is to have an outstanding attitude from now on.

To my batchmates:
Like I said, what we went through is the past. The least we can do is make it all end well. A good ending would make up for all that in past right? We may not be enjoying what we are doing, but I'm sure all of us stil want to do well in what we are doing. I wouldn't want to graduate, leaving CO without a GWH. I think none of you would want that to happen too right?
Erhus: We will help each other and do what we can. Even when people don't move, we will move. When others move, we will move along too.
Gaohus and Zhonghus: You were granted a place in syf without being auditioned I think. Do treasure this special treatment and prac with us. Show us that we all worthy and do what we are supposed to.

To my juniors:
I don't know how you think of me. I don't know how you think of us. It's too late to know and that doesn't matter.
If you think it is rightfully yours that you are in SYF, then do know that it is rightfully your duty to put effort into it. It isn't the most pleasant thing to keep hearing 'walao' whenever there's pracs.
If you do want GWH, work for it. It's part of your duty too.

Yes. CCA is going to take up so much time. We would have problems struggling with everything. I wouldn't mind coming because I know we need it. However, I would not want to attend useless, ineffective sectionals and it is up to each and individual to make sure the sectionals are not useless and ineffective. If only leaders truely become leaders and command our respect and attention and show by example, and members work and cooperate, I do want to believe that within these 3 short weeks (not counting the camp week) a miracle can happen. We will create this miracle if we want to.

There are too many thoughts in my mind now, which explains for this inchorerent post. If you get me, good =) If you don't (and probably think I am putting up a show), then you do not know me at all and you don't seem to know that people grow and change.